I am...

Photo by Jim Harvey

Caption: Angela West shown doing the luge with groupies (L-R) Trey White, Ren Fortier and John Koehler.



by Angela West

So, have you had a day where you just feel like TOTAL CRAP? Like everything you do just does not work out. I have! Yesterday was one of those days for me!

I knew it was going to be a busy day. Tuesdays are always crazy. We have club in Chesapeake, and I am always running around getting stuff done. But yesterday, things were a lot crazier than ever because I needed to answer questions for my internship interview. This application was not something that I wanted to do in ten minutes. It required time and my full attention.

I just really respect the opportunity of applying for the position. I spent most of my morning completing it. I would write something, read it, and then rewrite it. I was just having SO MUCH trouble writing. I did most of it, but I had to put it down and go run errands before club. Maybe it was a good thing to stop, so I could think.

So my aide and I went to Virginia Beach to go get a wireless microphone from friends. I only planned to stay a few minutes. But we hardly ever get to just sit and talk. I looked at the clock and an hour had passed by. They really lifted my spirit, and I laughed so much. When I left, I had to run to the store. On the way, I ran into a man who was in a not so good mood. I accidentally got in his way. I apologized over and over, but he didn’t want to listen. He just grumbled at me. I wanted to say, “I know how you feel.” But I didn’t and I left feeling bad.

I hurried back home to pick up things for the club talk then ran to church. I was excited about the club talk. I thought it was going to be a great message. I was going to talk about Jesus and how He washed the feet of the disciples. As the kids were coming in, I didn’t see the pizza. Tara had called and ordered them that morning. We called and asked WHY THEY WERE NOT THERE YET. They said someone had changed the order. What? We told them we had over thirty hungry people with disabilities and it was not fun. So we played the games. We played games until they could have been published in history books. Tara declared a pompom war at the end. That was so fun, but I think I ate a pompom. Yummy!

The pizza was still not there. I was like fine, I am going to do the talk. The wireless microphone decided it was not going to work. So I just used the regular microphone. The kids were fidgeted because they were starving. I gave the talk but the interactions I usually have with the kids, that I absolutely love, were not there. I could see some of the kids got it, but not the usual amount. I felt as if I was a big loser. Some of the parents said I did a really good job, and I was thinking uhhh no. Even though I know God’s Word is never void, I was just ashamed. This is my job, this is my passion in life, so why do I do bad sometimes?

I just wanted to go home and cry. I was done. But I had promised a friend I would hang out. So a group of us went to dinner. It was fun just to be with people that I love. But when my friend was driving me home, we talked about the Lord. He said, over the past weeks his life has changed. He said he sees Jesus in John, Tara, in the Capernaum kids, and me. He said he wants to be like Jesus. That ten minute conversation changed my day.

So wait…I am not useless. I am a friend. I am a teacher. I am Christ’s disciple. I am God’s daughter. I am covered by His grace!